Ok everyone. So it's March now, and for all of you who are Herpetologists, Herpetoculturists, or reptile enthusiasts of any kind, this is the time when your blood starts boiling, your plan-making skills kick into action, and you life starts to get cluttered trying to balance all the shit you normally have to do, with trying to find all the new reptiles you're gonna get this season, and trying to buy and set up all the new cages, and work out the new feeding schedules, ect... And if you're a breeder, then you have the added bonus of detailed schedules and pre-breeding record keeping, then pairing up and breeding all your little guys and girls and getting sucked into the awsome whirlwind of everything necessary, meticulous, and wonderfully tedious that follows a breeding.
If you are not yet into reptiles, you should be. They're amazing. They're beautiful. They're visibly ancient. . .and they dont need to be walked or housebroken. Dont get me wrong, I do love dogs - I have 2 of them - but reptiles are just different. They are a soothing presence. They're a constant reminder of how ancient this planet is, and how far evolution has brought us. They bring color and beauty into an otherwise dull world, without undoing the darkness of the mood that you prefer to have there, if you do prefer to have it there. Of course, if you prefer a lighter mood, reptiles dont seem to do anything to darken it. It's actually an interesting effect. Reptiles will always seem to compliment your personality. I also find them to be very relaxing. Theraputic, even. I have some deep shit in my past, and watching reptiles go about their days in their own ways actually helps me deal with some of the more difficult-to-just-sit-with shit in my life. I can watch a snake slither around a cage for hours. I slip into a trance-like state, and no matter how awful I was feeling when i started, I always come out of it feeling better. I cant say if it's the movement itself, or the appreciation for it, or maybe something else entirely, but whatever the reason, it is a sort of home-spun therapy for me. The difference between reptile therapy and actual therapy is that reptile therapy actually works. It can actually leave you feeling calmer and more at peace with youself. Not that they know what they are doing for you at times like those, but still, they are remarkable creatures.
Reptiles force you to think as well (and yes, that is a good thing). You cant look a some of the less common morphs of various colubridae, for example, without wondering what their exact genetic make-up is. That is why almost every reptile keeper will at some point try their hand at breeding. Its almost impossibe to avoid. To look at them without saying to yourself "I wanna make one of those" just very rarely happens. People always want to hatch out a few of their own. Those with a greater affinity for science, probably have more specific goals, but the general notion is the same; Whether you want to hatch out exactly what you've allready got, or create something new with genes you're breeders are "hiding", or if you're going for the pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow and shooting for a brand new color or pattern previously unknown to anyone anywhere...We all want to make our own.
There are few things on the planet cooler and more incredible to watch than reptile hatching out of their egg. It's like watching a child be born, but far more amazing, because the reptile does it all by himself. They're so tiny when they hatch, they have never been instructed as to how to free themselves from their egg and still, they require no assistance. They instinctively know what to to, and they get it done. No doctors helping, no mothers' pushing - just a teeny tiny reptile and an egg for it to battle.
So if you are currently a reptile enthusiast of some kind - The season is upon us. Enjoy! Have fun! Create!
If you are not into reptiles yet - what the hell are you waiting for?! Get on it! Spring and summer is when you're gonna find the most hatchlings for sale, and when you'll almost definately be able to locate a reptile expo or two somewhere around where you live. Join us. All are welcome.
Wishing a happy and prolific season to all my fellow breeders out there.
-DP
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Sociopathy or superpowers?
Lots of people have thought that i may be a sociopath, and many others agree with the way i view things, in general. I tend to think im an odd type of borderling sociopath, but only in ways that are more or less helpful to society as a whole. Its kind of my superpower.
I always explain it like this : I definately have a concience, it just doesnt kick in the way most people's do. For example, if i accidentally hit a child, or even a squirrel with my car, i would feel terrible, and would almost certainly lose a lot of sleep over it. If, however, there were a person whose actions were that of a person who was just begging to be killed, someone who routinely and purposfully hurts others, for example, then my concience would never even come close to switching on if i were to grant what seems to so clearly be their wish.
I think it comes down to the effect it has on the world. If someone getting killed will protect everyone around them from their depraved actions, then they are worth nothing, and as a result, I couldnt force myself to feel bad at all if something were to happen to them. If a person or animal who is more or less and innocent gets hurt because of pride, or for personal gain of some sort, or for sport, or for a reason thats just plain old stupid, like over money or street cred or something like that, then that's awful, and I would have an attack of conscience if I had a hand in it.
So it is sort of a sociopathic superpower. Normally, I am a decent person. I care about innocent people and animals, and in most cases, I would take a bullet to keep them from getting senselessly hurt....But, if you deserve to die, and that happening will serve humanity as a whole, then I would have no problem at all sitting and eating dinner 2 feet away from you while watching you bleed out. I would feel nothing at all, except possibly the calm that comes from watching the world become a better place right in front of your eyes. I would never feel sickened, I would never lose a moments sleep over it, and I would never ever think about you again.
I dont know if that means there is something wrong with me or if it means that I am the perfect combination of good and evil. I do tend to think about these two halves of myself fondly, though. If nothing else, I am told that its all part of my charm.
I always explain it like this : I definately have a concience, it just doesnt kick in the way most people's do. For example, if i accidentally hit a child, or even a squirrel with my car, i would feel terrible, and would almost certainly lose a lot of sleep over it. If, however, there were a person whose actions were that of a person who was just begging to be killed, someone who routinely and purposfully hurts others, for example, then my concience would never even come close to switching on if i were to grant what seems to so clearly be their wish.
I think it comes down to the effect it has on the world. If someone getting killed will protect everyone around them from their depraved actions, then they are worth nothing, and as a result, I couldnt force myself to feel bad at all if something were to happen to them. If a person or animal who is more or less and innocent gets hurt because of pride, or for personal gain of some sort, or for sport, or for a reason thats just plain old stupid, like over money or street cred or something like that, then that's awful, and I would have an attack of conscience if I had a hand in it.
So it is sort of a sociopathic superpower. Normally, I am a decent person. I care about innocent people and animals, and in most cases, I would take a bullet to keep them from getting senselessly hurt....But, if you deserve to die, and that happening will serve humanity as a whole, then I would have no problem at all sitting and eating dinner 2 feet away from you while watching you bleed out. I would feel nothing at all, except possibly the calm that comes from watching the world become a better place right in front of your eyes. I would never feel sickened, I would never lose a moments sleep over it, and I would never ever think about you again.
I dont know if that means there is something wrong with me or if it means that I am the perfect combination of good and evil. I do tend to think about these two halves of myself fondly, though. If nothing else, I am told that its all part of my charm.
Monday, January 17, 2011
RATED "R"... SMALL CHILDREN, THE SEXUALLY REPRESSED AND THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT SHOULD ALL TURN BACK NOW.
Here is a free tip for all guys who are unsure as to how to go about turning a woman on. . .texting 40 times a day does not work. It just seems pathetic and clawingly eager. And when those texts are dripping with what seems like a desperate attempt to make it as a really bad erotica writer...well, that just makes it worse. Seriously. It's not sexy, it's not endearing. It's barely flattering. It's really just sad, and kind of a pain in the ass. Don't get me wrong - telling me exactly what you want to do to me when you see me, or what you want me to do to you, is a turn on. But when you tell me every 20 seconds or so, it stops being adorable, and instead, it just makes me want to punch you in the head when I see you.
Now, to be clear, I am far from a prude. This bit of advice is coming from a bisexual woman who is into S&M exclusively. When I have sex that most would consider to be "normal", i find myself so bored after a couple of minutes that I just want to kill myself. Or him/her for boring me. Or perhaps both of us. I do like to get those types of texts once in a while, when Im not expecting it. They're fun, and sexy, and they make me want to go find the person sending them - IMMEDIATELY. And that's the desired effect, right? So why would you want to do something in excess that when done in moderation, is perfect, but in excess, it has the opposite effect? You wouldnt (I hope). So stop it, guys!! Take a minute to think about what you're doing. Before you click the send botton on your cell phone, first consider whether or not she has already received a similar text from you at least 3 times that day. If the answer is yes, then do not send! Of course, everyones maximums are different, but for me, my max is 3. After that it starts to get a little creepy.
Aside from the creppy desperate factor, it can also get kind of scary. Stalker-esque. Especially if the woman you're texting can hear a well defined threatening tone to the "this is what im gonna do to you" texts. But hey - if creepy violent stalker is what you're going for, then go right ahead, but if not, then knock it off!
As you may have figured out, Im in the middle of trying to work something of this nature out at the moment. Like I said, Im kind of a freaky-deak, and I don't scare easily at all...but this shit is seriouly freaking me out. To the point that i really dont even want to keep the date we have coming up. This guy may be the nicest guy in the world, but the only picture in my mind I can seem to hold onto, is that of me walking myself right into a horrible situation from which i cant get out.
But that's the nature of the beast. S&M is just like that (usually. At least is is for a Sub. I suppose it depends on what you're into). You trust that everything will be ok, but if its not, then there's really not a ton you can do about it. Technically, i suppose it is sort of what I signed on for. I 've never had any illusions about the level of risk involved. But what makes it ok is the fact that when you can trust someone who has you in a compromising position, such as being bound for example, then you can pretty much always trust them. Knowing how badly things could have gone, and knowing that they didnt go badly at all, is a turn-on in itself. Trust is important. Having a place and a way to let go of the freakishly tight controlling death grip you have on your whole life is very important. Sometimes, a person just needs to let it all go, and without trust, that cant happen. At least not safely.
Allow me to explain away a disturbingly common misconception. Alot of people think that Submissives give away their right to say "no". That is catagorically untrue. Sometimes, the word "no" is replaced by another word or with a signal of some sort, but whatever word or sign you're supposed to use to stop everything is well established ahead of time and is binding - no matter what activities you get into. Even in the case of bondage, the person being bound still has the right to stop everything dead in it's tracks. You are never left without a means to do that. Unfortunately, While you are bound, your means to bring your festivities to a halt is soley the right to tell them to stop what they are doing. Once that request is made, it is up to them to do so. But like any other situation outside of S&M, if they choose to deny your request/demand for them to stop, then they turn a great freaky night into a rape. Doms are not immune to the label of Rapist. They are not allowed to refuse your genuine request for them to stop. But regardless of what the unwritten rulebook says, when you allow yourself to be restrained, you are ultimately giving them control of the evening. You are giving them an easier choice then most guys get. It is damn near impossible for a women to get out from under a rapist when she does physically have the ability to fight him. When you are tied to a bed, you're not going anywhere. So no, we do not give up all rights to our bodies that are afforded to us by law. We just put ourselves in situations wherein trust is exceedingly important.
So is this guy just trying his best to play up to what Im used to, but going about it in a creepy way? Or is he a creepy, stalkery, genuinely violent guy? I guess I wont know until after our date. Assuming I keep it...And to be clear, I'm not an idiot. I didnt pick some random guy up on the internet. I knew him a very long time ago, and although I dont really remember him much, based on what I do remember, I am inclined to believe that he is really a nice guy who is just still kind of new to the whole notion of being "the sadistic guy". He'll probably get a handle on it eventually, and then, with or without me around, he'll stop being so scary. If that's the case, then Id be proud to be the one who turns him around. If he really is who he seems to be, then I guess I'm kinda screwed. Hopefully, all the concerns I have will turn out to be my imagination running a bit wild and scaring me.
keeping my fingers crossed
-DP
Now, to be clear, I am far from a prude. This bit of advice is coming from a bisexual woman who is into S&M exclusively. When I have sex that most would consider to be "normal", i find myself so bored after a couple of minutes that I just want to kill myself. Or him/her for boring me. Or perhaps both of us. I do like to get those types of texts once in a while, when Im not expecting it. They're fun, and sexy, and they make me want to go find the person sending them - IMMEDIATELY. And that's the desired effect, right? So why would you want to do something in excess that when done in moderation, is perfect, but in excess, it has the opposite effect? You wouldnt (I hope). So stop it, guys!! Take a minute to think about what you're doing. Before you click the send botton on your cell phone, first consider whether or not she has already received a similar text from you at least 3 times that day. If the answer is yes, then do not send! Of course, everyones maximums are different, but for me, my max is 3. After that it starts to get a little creepy.
Aside from the creppy desperate factor, it can also get kind of scary. Stalker-esque. Especially if the woman you're texting can hear a well defined threatening tone to the "this is what im gonna do to you" texts. But hey - if creepy violent stalker is what you're going for, then go right ahead, but if not, then knock it off!
As you may have figured out, Im in the middle of trying to work something of this nature out at the moment. Like I said, Im kind of a freaky-deak, and I don't scare easily at all...but this shit is seriouly freaking me out. To the point that i really dont even want to keep the date we have coming up. This guy may be the nicest guy in the world, but the only picture in my mind I can seem to hold onto, is that of me walking myself right into a horrible situation from which i cant get out.
But that's the nature of the beast. S&M is just like that (usually. At least is is for a Sub. I suppose it depends on what you're into). You trust that everything will be ok, but if its not, then there's really not a ton you can do about it. Technically, i suppose it is sort of what I signed on for. I 've never had any illusions about the level of risk involved. But what makes it ok is the fact that when you can trust someone who has you in a compromising position, such as being bound for example, then you can pretty much always trust them. Knowing how badly things could have gone, and knowing that they didnt go badly at all, is a turn-on in itself. Trust is important. Having a place and a way to let go of the freakishly tight controlling death grip you have on your whole life is very important. Sometimes, a person just needs to let it all go, and without trust, that cant happen. At least not safely.
Allow me to explain away a disturbingly common misconception. Alot of people think that Submissives give away their right to say "no". That is catagorically untrue. Sometimes, the word "no" is replaced by another word or with a signal of some sort, but whatever word or sign you're supposed to use to stop everything is well established ahead of time and is binding - no matter what activities you get into. Even in the case of bondage, the person being bound still has the right to stop everything dead in it's tracks. You are never left without a means to do that. Unfortunately, While you are bound, your means to bring your festivities to a halt is soley the right to tell them to stop what they are doing. Once that request is made, it is up to them to do so. But like any other situation outside of S&M, if they choose to deny your request/demand for them to stop, then they turn a great freaky night into a rape. Doms are not immune to the label of Rapist. They are not allowed to refuse your genuine request for them to stop. But regardless of what the unwritten rulebook says, when you allow yourself to be restrained, you are ultimately giving them control of the evening. You are giving them an easier choice then most guys get. It is damn near impossible for a women to get out from under a rapist when she does physically have the ability to fight him. When you are tied to a bed, you're not going anywhere. So no, we do not give up all rights to our bodies that are afforded to us by law. We just put ourselves in situations wherein trust is exceedingly important.
So is this guy just trying his best to play up to what Im used to, but going about it in a creepy way? Or is he a creepy, stalkery, genuinely violent guy? I guess I wont know until after our date. Assuming I keep it...And to be clear, I'm not an idiot. I didnt pick some random guy up on the internet. I knew him a very long time ago, and although I dont really remember him much, based on what I do remember, I am inclined to believe that he is really a nice guy who is just still kind of new to the whole notion of being "the sadistic guy". He'll probably get a handle on it eventually, and then, with or without me around, he'll stop being so scary. If that's the case, then Id be proud to be the one who turns him around. If he really is who he seems to be, then I guess I'm kinda screwed. Hopefully, all the concerns I have will turn out to be my imagination running a bit wild and scaring me.
keeping my fingers crossed
-DP
Friday, January 14, 2011
A FINE LINE BETWEEN COURAGE AND STUPIDITY
I was in a very crowded Drs. waiting room yesterday, and there was a man sitting a couple of seats away from me - a really low-rent, mid 30's guy - talking on his cell phone. Now, I couldn't give a crap if people talk on their cells in waiting rooms...normally. This guy was talking so loudly that it had to be on purpose, and all he was talking about were all the horrible ways in which people can die. Nobody wants to hear about how quickly and horribly liver cancer kills you when they're at the doctor's office. And what if someone there had liver cancer?! They certainly didnt need to hear him drone on and on about that crap!
Like with everything else obnoxious about this planet, everyone was looking around at eachother, sighing loudly, shifting uncomfortably in their seats, and grumbling under their breaths, but not one person had the balls to ask this guy to shut the hell up. I was intrigued by everyones' reactions - or lack thereof. I kept waiting for someone to do something, but no one did, and i couldnt take hearing it anymore, so, like always, I was the one to do something.
I asked the guy to quiet down, and he did not respond or even acknowledge the fact that i spoke. But then he hung up the phone, so I figured that was his way of saying "ok"... Swing and a miss. About 30 seconds after hanging up, he dialed another number at which there must have been no answer. So, he then dialed another, and another, and another until he finally found someone who was home and willing to take his call. He began talking again, at the same volume as before, about the same creepy death stuff. Spite. He was talking that way and about that stuff for no reason other than spite.
Now, if I were someone else, I would have just rolled my eyes, made a quick patronizing remark to let him know how far down i have to look just to see him at all (which is saying a lot since i am just barely this side of being the queen of all that is low-rent), and then left it alone. But I am who I am, and i found myself unable to do that. So, like either the bravest person on the planet or more likely, the single most idiotic, I got up from my seat, ripped the phone away from his ear and out of his hand, and snapped it in half. I didnt say anything at all until he started yelling at me for doing what i did. Once the yelling started anyway, I figured I might as well jump in. I will say this for mysef: Even in the middle of a rowdy argument, i still make more respectable points then most people do during a casual thoughtful conversation. Unfortunately, I doubt if he heard any of them, because he was just yelling stupidity, determined to make sure that anyone who didnt know he was white trash before, would definately leave knowing.
Now, the down side. When this guy stood up, he was towering over me. This was a big (around 6' or so), burly, blue coller guy. . .who was now really pissed off cause i broke his phone and publicly humiliated him in one swift move. I, on the other hand, am a 5'2" woman who apparently lacks the ability to think things through completely. And by that, I dont really mean that I am impusive; Im not always impulsive. Sometimes I am, but this time I was not acting impulsively. I thought this through beforehand. Just not completely. I thought it through as far as breaking the phone, and thats where my imagination stopped.
Now, my fight-or-flight response had long since kicked in. My adrenaline was surging. My heart was racing so fast that i couldnt breathe and my whole body was trembling. Everything was what it should have been for a dangerous situation...only it never even occured to me that i should run or back down in any way. My fight-or-flight reponse seems to only get me to the point of "fight", and then my brain shuts the rest down or something. It's really really dangerous, and as many times as it has gotten me into some really bad situations from which I couldn't get out from under, I still always go to that same place, over and over again. Im fairly certain that i will meet an ugly, brutal demise as a result of this lack of foresight, but it doesnt seem to stop me from doing the same stupid stuff everytime the opporunity jumps up and smacks me in the face.
So why, knowing that this is my go-to response, and that it is incredibly dangerous, do I keep doing it? I dont know the answer to that question, but i have a couple of theories. The first is that I am simply hardwired to be violent. I like it, Im good at it, and it suits me. My second theory is a little more complicated. I never had anyone watching my back. My own parents would have handed me over to a serial killer if they were ever lacking in entertainment, as long as he promised to let them watch while he killed me. My older brother was and is completely non-confrontational...to the point that when we were younger, I, his little sister, used to have to fight his fights for him. And growing up, my friends and I were all pot-heads, and no one other than me ever seemed to have the inclination or the energy to fight. While that is a great platform for the legalization of pot, it sucks when you have something that needs handling and all your friends are too stoned to do anything other than sit and laugh, eat, play video games, and stare blankly at that thing that has never looked cool before, but looks surprisingly cool now. I had to watch my back enough to cover my share, and the shares that should have gone to my parents, brother, and friends. Plus I was always watching everyone else's respective backs. So, now Im stuck with this overabundace of violent defence mechanisms that i cant seem to get rid of.
What's my point? My point is that people should always look out for the ones they love. Even if you dont like to fight, or if you not a particularly good fighter, you should always at least try. Make the effort. It will not go unnoticed or unappreciated. If it does, then you're fighting for the wrong person. The inclination to stand up for someone can go a long way. More to the point - a disinclination to stand up for someone can last forever, and end up getting that person in a ton of life-threatening trouble. It doesnt take that much effort to speak up on someone's behalf, and if that means that you have to take a couple of right hooks to the face, then suck it up. If this person is someone you feel the need to fight for, then they'd probably do it for you too. Blurring the line between courage and stupidity is a wonderful guesture when you do it for someone else. When you do it for yourself, it will almost always lean more toward stupidity.
...And, yes, that was was a long story for such a simple point, but it was a point that needed to be to be well illustrated for anyone who does not inherently feel the need to stand up for those around them. When violence is mixed properly with loyalty, its a beautiful thing. Dont let down the people you care most about. That doesnt mean people should go around being randomly violent. It just means that you should never hide your head when a friend or loved one needs your help. Even if you know you cant win - being stupid is far more respectable than being cowardly and disloyal.
Like with everything else obnoxious about this planet, everyone was looking around at eachother, sighing loudly, shifting uncomfortably in their seats, and grumbling under their breaths, but not one person had the balls to ask this guy to shut the hell up. I was intrigued by everyones' reactions - or lack thereof. I kept waiting for someone to do something, but no one did, and i couldnt take hearing it anymore, so, like always, I was the one to do something.
I asked the guy to quiet down, and he did not respond or even acknowledge the fact that i spoke. But then he hung up the phone, so I figured that was his way of saying "ok"... Swing and a miss. About 30 seconds after hanging up, he dialed another number at which there must have been no answer. So, he then dialed another, and another, and another until he finally found someone who was home and willing to take his call. He began talking again, at the same volume as before, about the same creepy death stuff. Spite. He was talking that way and about that stuff for no reason other than spite.
Now, if I were someone else, I would have just rolled my eyes, made a quick patronizing remark to let him know how far down i have to look just to see him at all (which is saying a lot since i am just barely this side of being the queen of all that is low-rent), and then left it alone. But I am who I am, and i found myself unable to do that. So, like either the bravest person on the planet or more likely, the single most idiotic, I got up from my seat, ripped the phone away from his ear and out of his hand, and snapped it in half. I didnt say anything at all until he started yelling at me for doing what i did. Once the yelling started anyway, I figured I might as well jump in. I will say this for mysef: Even in the middle of a rowdy argument, i still make more respectable points then most people do during a casual thoughtful conversation. Unfortunately, I doubt if he heard any of them, because he was just yelling stupidity, determined to make sure that anyone who didnt know he was white trash before, would definately leave knowing.
Now, the down side. When this guy stood up, he was towering over me. This was a big (around 6' or so), burly, blue coller guy. . .who was now really pissed off cause i broke his phone and publicly humiliated him in one swift move. I, on the other hand, am a 5'2" woman who apparently lacks the ability to think things through completely. And by that, I dont really mean that I am impusive; Im not always impulsive. Sometimes I am, but this time I was not acting impulsively. I thought this through beforehand. Just not completely. I thought it through as far as breaking the phone, and thats where my imagination stopped.
Now, my fight-or-flight response had long since kicked in. My adrenaline was surging. My heart was racing so fast that i couldnt breathe and my whole body was trembling. Everything was what it should have been for a dangerous situation...only it never even occured to me that i should run or back down in any way. My fight-or-flight reponse seems to only get me to the point of "fight", and then my brain shuts the rest down or something. It's really really dangerous, and as many times as it has gotten me into some really bad situations from which I couldn't get out from under, I still always go to that same place, over and over again. Im fairly certain that i will meet an ugly, brutal demise as a result of this lack of foresight, but it doesnt seem to stop me from doing the same stupid stuff everytime the opporunity jumps up and smacks me in the face.
So why, knowing that this is my go-to response, and that it is incredibly dangerous, do I keep doing it? I dont know the answer to that question, but i have a couple of theories. The first is that I am simply hardwired to be violent. I like it, Im good at it, and it suits me. My second theory is a little more complicated. I never had anyone watching my back. My own parents would have handed me over to a serial killer if they were ever lacking in entertainment, as long as he promised to let them watch while he killed me. My older brother was and is completely non-confrontational...to the point that when we were younger, I, his little sister, used to have to fight his fights for him. And growing up, my friends and I were all pot-heads, and no one other than me ever seemed to have the inclination or the energy to fight. While that is a great platform for the legalization of pot, it sucks when you have something that needs handling and all your friends are too stoned to do anything other than sit and laugh, eat, play video games, and stare blankly at that thing that has never looked cool before, but looks surprisingly cool now. I had to watch my back enough to cover my share, and the shares that should have gone to my parents, brother, and friends. Plus I was always watching everyone else's respective backs. So, now Im stuck with this overabundace of violent defence mechanisms that i cant seem to get rid of.
What's my point? My point is that people should always look out for the ones they love. Even if you dont like to fight, or if you not a particularly good fighter, you should always at least try. Make the effort. It will not go unnoticed or unappreciated. If it does, then you're fighting for the wrong person. The inclination to stand up for someone can go a long way. More to the point - a disinclination to stand up for someone can last forever, and end up getting that person in a ton of life-threatening trouble. It doesnt take that much effort to speak up on someone's behalf, and if that means that you have to take a couple of right hooks to the face, then suck it up. If this person is someone you feel the need to fight for, then they'd probably do it for you too. Blurring the line between courage and stupidity is a wonderful guesture when you do it for someone else. When you do it for yourself, it will almost always lean more toward stupidity.
...And, yes, that was was a long story for such a simple point, but it was a point that needed to be to be well illustrated for anyone who does not inherently feel the need to stand up for those around them. When violence is mixed properly with loyalty, its a beautiful thing. Dont let down the people you care most about. That doesnt mean people should go around being randomly violent. It just means that you should never hide your head when a friend or loved one needs your help. Even if you know you cant win - being stupid is far more respectable than being cowardly and disloyal.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
IF YOU DON'T KNOW ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, THEN YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING AT ALL
Ok, so, Im completely new to this whole blogging thing. It doesnt make very much sense to me that anyone would care at all about anything that i have to say if they dont actually know me, but, occasionally, i do have something to say, so i suppose this is as good a place as any to say it. At least here i cant really offend anyone i know...
I guess I'll start by touching on something that has been bothering me lately.
I am so unbelievably tired of people feeling the need to judge everyone around them. Everyone judges - and that's ok, because it is human nature, but keep it to yourselves people!! No one wants to hear the snide comment that you want to make about the guy over there, or the ignorant obnoxious opinion that you have about that chick you met the other day...NO ONE CARES!! If you have a problem with someone - with the way they look, or the way they act, or with something they did - then that's entirely your problem. Not their's. Everyone needs to stop putting their own shit on everyone else. Aside from it making the self-proclaimed judge look stupid and unduely arrogant, any judgements made are most often simply wrong. There are too many variables that go into a persons actions, decisions, etc. for an outsider to be able to know what is really going on there. People tend to make judgements based on themselves. ie, If you would not do that thing, then no one should do that thing. But that is blatently unfair. You wouldnt do that thing because you dont want to, or because you dont need to, or because the opportunity never presented itself to you. At least one of those things are obviously untrue for someone who does do that thing, and so your judgement is pointless right from the jump.
What Im trying to say, is that it is literally impossible to make a proper and complete judgement of someone else without knowing all the facts - and knowing what the facts would be for you, were you in their shoes, is not even close to good enough. Nor is genuinely believing that you know the person well enough to really know what's going on in their head. Because i guarantee you - you dont. They probably dont even know everything going on in their own mind, even if they think they do, so you sure as hell dont.
One thing i find myself saying more often then I'd like to, is the title of this entry - "If you dont know absolutely everything, then you dont know anything at all." Everything you think you know about someone is really just an illusion of sorts until you know every last tiny little detail about them; Until you know things about them that they dont even know. No matter how irrelevant you think a detail is, it still does factor into whatever it is on which you are passing judgement. We are all comprised of our details. Our actions are all comprised of ourselves as a whole, and by extension, of our details. Nothing about who we are, or the decisions that we make is completely irrelevent. It all factors in in some way. That is what makes Human Beings so complex and fascinating. That should be embraced, and admired - It shouldn't be used to look down upon anyone. Ever.
So before you pass judgement on anyone/anything out loud, and run the risk of pissing me off, always keep in mind that there is definately more to whatever you are about to judge than you think there is. The fact that you dont see it, doesnt mean that it's not there. I assure you, it is there.
I guess I'll start by touching on something that has been bothering me lately.
I am so unbelievably tired of people feeling the need to judge everyone around them. Everyone judges - and that's ok, because it is human nature, but keep it to yourselves people!! No one wants to hear the snide comment that you want to make about the guy over there, or the ignorant obnoxious opinion that you have about that chick you met the other day...NO ONE CARES!! If you have a problem with someone - with the way they look, or the way they act, or with something they did - then that's entirely your problem. Not their's. Everyone needs to stop putting their own shit on everyone else. Aside from it making the self-proclaimed judge look stupid and unduely arrogant, any judgements made are most often simply wrong. There are too many variables that go into a persons actions, decisions, etc. for an outsider to be able to know what is really going on there. People tend to make judgements based on themselves. ie, If you would not do that thing, then no one should do that thing. But that is blatently unfair. You wouldnt do that thing because you dont want to, or because you dont need to, or because the opportunity never presented itself to you. At least one of those things are obviously untrue for someone who does do that thing, and so your judgement is pointless right from the jump.
What Im trying to say, is that it is literally impossible to make a proper and complete judgement of someone else without knowing all the facts - and knowing what the facts would be for you, were you in their shoes, is not even close to good enough. Nor is genuinely believing that you know the person well enough to really know what's going on in their head. Because i guarantee you - you dont. They probably dont even know everything going on in their own mind, even if they think they do, so you sure as hell dont.
One thing i find myself saying more often then I'd like to, is the title of this entry - "If you dont know absolutely everything, then you dont know anything at all." Everything you think you know about someone is really just an illusion of sorts until you know every last tiny little detail about them; Until you know things about them that they dont even know. No matter how irrelevant you think a detail is, it still does factor into whatever it is on which you are passing judgement. We are all comprised of our details. Our actions are all comprised of ourselves as a whole, and by extension, of our details. Nothing about who we are, or the decisions that we make is completely irrelevent. It all factors in in some way. That is what makes Human Beings so complex and fascinating. That should be embraced, and admired - It shouldn't be used to look down upon anyone. Ever.
So before you pass judgement on anyone/anything out loud, and run the risk of pissing me off, always keep in mind that there is definately more to whatever you are about to judge than you think there is. The fact that you dont see it, doesnt mean that it's not there. I assure you, it is there.
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